So here it is; the game that can see Newcastle guarantee themselves a spot in the Premier League next season. Three points will make us mathematically safe, anything less will mean we have to rely on other results, namely Wigan vs Arsenal on Tuesday night. If Wigan lose on Tuesday and we draw today, we will be safe. If any other combination of results happens, we have to go into our final game against Arsenal needing at least a point. Eesh. Our last win at Loftus Road was in 1993.
Table before kick-off
11 Stoke City 36 41 -10
12 Fulham 36 40 -11
13 Aston Villa 37 40 -22
14 Southampton 36 39 -11
15 mackems 36 38 -12
16 Norwich City 36 38 -22
17 Newcastle 36 38 -23
18 Wigan 36 35 -23
Today's other games: Stoke 1 - 2 Tottenham, Everton 2 - 0 West Ham, Fulham 1 - 3 Liverpool, Norwich 4 - 0 West Brom, Sunderland 1 - 1 Southampton, Man Utd 0 - 0 (half time) Swansea.
Venue: Loftus Road, London
Kickoff is 3pm BST, 10am EST.
Weather: 13C with sunny spells. Showers to come later in the afternoon.
Referee: Lee Probert (Gloucestershire). His other two NUFC matches this season were the FA Cup loss to Brighton (a) and the draw with Aston Villa (h).
Team News
Newcastle are definitely without Tim Krul, Shola Ameobi and Moussa Sissoko whereas the status of recovered-from-injury Davide Santon and Sylvain Marveaux is unclear. Steven Taylor is not expected to play due to an illness [mackemphobia?]. However, loanees Sammy Ameobi and Shane Ferguson have returned, and Mathieu Debuchy is once more eligible after finishing his one-game suspension.
QPR are definitely without Chris Samba, Andrew Johnson and Shaun Wright-Philips. Tal Ben Haim is unavailable after joining Toronto FC on loan, whereas first-choice goalie Julio Cesar won't be considered for selection.
Odds [Ladbrokes @ 14.00 BST]
Newcastle to win @ 13/10
QPR to win @ 2/1
Draw @ 12/5
First scorer: Cisse @ 5/1, Remy @ 6/1, Gouffran @ 7/1, Hatem Ben Arfa @ 7/1, Taarabt @ 8/1, Zamora @ 8-1, Campbell @ 8/1, Gosling @ 30/1, Williamson @ 50/1.
1405 BST: NEWCASTLE LINEUP: Team: (4-3-3) Elliot; Debuchy, Williamson, Coloccini (c), Yanga-Mbiwa; Tiote, Cabaye, Gutierrez; Ben Arfa, Cisse, Gouffran. Strong team I reckon.
Newcastle bench: Harper, Simpson, Perch, Anita, Marveaux, Obertan, Campbell.
1411 BST: QPR LINEUP: Green; Bosingwa, Onuoha, Hill, Traore; Townsend, Jenas, Mbia, Hoilett; Remy, Zamora. Subs: Murphy, Fabio, Derry, Granero, Park, Taarabt, Mackie.
1500: Kickoff! Howay the lads! Both sides are playing 4-4-2.
1505: A threatening run of play by QPR leads to a foul conceded on the edge of the box. The resulting free kick is put over the bar.
1506: Toon owner Mike Ashley is in the stands along with MD Derek Llambias.
1508: Two minutes' stoppage after Jonas Gutierrez goes off for treatment of a knock.
1509: Debuchy hauls down Junior Hoilett in the box. Lee Probert shows no hesitation pointing to the spot. Fuck. Replays show that it seems that the contact was outside of the box. QPR have missed all three pens this season.
1510: GOAL! Loic FUCKING Remy taps it left, sending Elliot the wrong way. QPR 1 - 0 Newcastle.
1512: Confirmation that Cabaye was booked for dissent in the aftermath of the penalty. Debuchy was not booked. Good work Lee.
1513: Gutierrez hits it off Bosingwa for a corner. Ben Arfa hits it to Coloccini who heads it back to Cabaye who blasts it with a terrible shot over the bar.
1515: Coloccini shouts at his defense after they let Zamora through into the box far too easily and he has to put it out for a corner. The resulting corner is headed away by Jonas.
1516: Gouffran darts a threatening cross which Cabaye blasts into Jose Bosingwa.
1517: Probert points to the penalty spot for a second time! Bosingwa tugs on Ben Arfa's shirt in the QPR box! At last!
1518: GOALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! Ben Arfa rips the net off with a blasted penalty into the top of the net. Game on! QPR 1 - 1 NEWCASTLE
1521: Sublime cross in from Debuchy gets to Cisse, who puts it into the net, but the Senegalese starlet is inches offside. Good call from the linesman.
1528: A quiet ten minutes in which Newcastle have shown some menace going forward but not much else. Ben Arfa is looking good. Lee Probert stops play after Cabaye goes down after a seemingly nasty challenge from Mbia. Dreamboat walks over to Harry Redknapp to show him the stud marks! Wants to be careful considering he's already on a yellow...
1529: Williamson is booked for a studs-up challenge on Mbia. Revenge?
1531: Hoilett gets past Willo a little bit too easily and shoots at Elliot, who manages to parry it away.
1533: Elliot punches a ball from a corner which leads to a wasted NUFC counter attack. Elliot is down and uncomfortable. Steven Harper on now?
1534: GOALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! Green's short pass to Bosingwa leads to a terrible parry against the predatory Cisse which rolls to Gouffran who side foots it from 25 yards into the empty net. They all count... QPR 1 - 2 NEWCASTLE
1535: Bosingwa is getting booed for that terrible defending.
1536: Mbia with another reckless late, challenge catches Tiote who stays down. Elliot is on the touchline having his elbow strapped after the challenge from...Mbia.
1538: Clint Hill gets a bit handsy with Mike Williamson in the box but inexplicably a foul isn't given.
1544: Cabaye hits it over the bar after a shabby five minutes or so. Three minutes to play in injury time as the rain starts to fall over Loftus Road. Symbolic?
1545: Hoilett gets past Williamson again but slips on the wet surface. QPR have had 77% possession in the last 5 minutes...
1547: Hoilett goes down after a pull from Debuchy in the box...but luckily a wrong call from the linesman results in an offside against him. Phew.
1548: Lee Probert blows for the end of the first half. A controversial first half, but if it's like this after ninety, Newcastle will be safe. Halftime: Queens Park Rangers 1 - 2 Newcastle United.
1601: Phew. The players are back on the pitch. 45 to safety. QPR kick off the second half.
Double change for QPR at half time: Bosingwa for Fabio, Mbia for Derry. Nevertheless they are playing 4-4-2.
1604: Zamora goes down after a scramble in the Newcastle box but there's nothing going. It ends in a laughably bad free kick from QPR. More of that, please.
1606: Bad clearance from Elliot is mercifully tidied up by the defence.
1608: Newcastle substitution: Perch on for Tioté, who is still struggling with a knock.
1610: Cabaye plays a threatening-looking lob over the top to Cisse who is inevitably offside.
1611: A lovely run by Ben Arfa up the right wing ends up in Cisse giving away possession quite cheaply.
1615: A worrying through ball from Zamora ends up at Remy's feet but our own curly-haired maestro takes it away from him.
1616: A cross across goal from Jenas to Zamora is only stopped by Debuchy's quite heavy-handed interception. Careful lads...
1618: Townsend gets past Mbiwa, who crosses for Elliot to take it in the air. He shrugs his shoulders in confusion at his defence.
1619: Bloody hell. Pardew has told them to sit back and Townsend and Hoilett move it freely outside the box. Only a bad shot past Elliot (completely beaten)'s post from Hoilett prevents it from being 2-2.
1621: Cabaye leaps over the ball like a salmon possessed and taps it back straight to Hoilett. Sloppy play and now what we need right now.
1623: Ludicrously unnecessary backpass from Hoilett leads to a Newcastle indirect free kick on the edge of the box.
1624: Free kick from Ben Arfa is blocked by Hoilett who is no more than 3 yards from the free kick. Probert having a poor and inconsistent game. Meanwhile, yellow card to Elliot for kicking the ball away in frustration against a free kick awarded to Remy.
1625: A free kick from the half way line falls to Shaun Derry who blasts it in the direction of the corner flag.
1626: Miscued clearance by Fabio falls to Jonas who puts it into the box at the feet of Perch, who loses possession and the ball is cleared for a corner.
1627: Fuck me! A threatening corner! Cabaye gets it to Jonas who looks certain to score but it's saved by Green then hooked off the line superbly by Derry. QPR break and get a free kick up the other end which is wasted but nevertheless put out for a corner by Ben Arfa.
1628: An overcooked long ball from Ben Arfa goes straight to Green.
1630: Toon fans cheering sarcastically when QPR manage to string a pass together. I dunno what they're cheering about, we've been terrible in midfield.
1631: Ben Arfa at his best surges past QPR's defence, slides the ball right to Gouffran who lets loose a limp cross-cum-shot which trickles past Green's far post. Was he trying to reach Cisse?
1632: Fifteen minutes from safety with a flaky-looking lead. Debuchy muscles the ball away and gets it to Gouffran in midfield, onto Cabaye who loses it. Debuchy has been good despite the penalty, Ben Arfa has been great, but Cabaye is still on a bad run of form. Much-maligned Jonas and Williamson have been decent as well. Cisse is anonymous as he has been too often this season.
1634: It looks like Obertan is padded up and ready to come on. FUCK.
Substitution: Obertan on for Gouffran. Gab is making his 50th Toon appearance. Inexplicably.
1637: RED CARD! OH MY GOD! Elliot gets a second yellow for ridiculously handling the ball outside the box! It'll be Steven Harper on for Elliot. COME ON STEVIE! Newcastle down to ten men. The crowd sing "there's only one Steve Harper". Ben Arfa coming off.
1639: It's pouring with rain at Loftus Road. Miserable weather for a miserable game...a tense final ten for the Toon.
1640: Substitution for QPR: Taarabt on for Hoilett.
1641: A free kick hooked into the box is headed away confidently from Williamson. He's been solid in the air.
1642: A risky handball shout in the box on Obertan is dismissed as he runs into midfield, gets it to Cisse who chips it at the keeper from 35 yards. Poor.
1644: A rare occurrence this afternoon as Mbiwa gets the better of Townsend with some quality defending and it goes out for a sluggishly-paced throw. Three plus stoppage to go. New pants please.
1645: Jenas in far too much space crosses to Zamora and Remy but both are offside. A great defensive performance from Colo and Williamson, not so much from Cabaye, Tiote and Perch.
1646: Gutierrez tumbles down outside of the box leading to a QPR counter attack culminating in a missed interception from Colo, which falls to Zamora essentially unmarked in the box. Luckily he misses the target. Not sure if my heart can take much more of that.
1648: There will be three minutes of stoppage time at Loftus Road. We are 180 seconds away from safety. We will have limped over the line though. It's not over yet though. Remember Feyenoord.
1648: A threatening ball in from Fabio is headed away well by Debuchy. Then Townsend comes pants-shittingly close from 25 yards but hooks a dipping shot over the bar.
1649: The commentator remarks that "it must be agony for the Newcastle fans". Too fucking right. One more minute.
1650: Lee Probert whistles, bringing cheers from the Newcastle section. And with that, the Toon have guaranteed their Premier League place next season with a not-at-all-convincing performance at the club at the bottom of the league. Let's dust ourselves down and come back better next season. 41 points. Two away victories. Fuck me. Let's remember 12 May 2013 as an example of what we want the club NOT to be.
1651 Some QPR fans have invaded the pitch in protest.
FULL TIME QUEENS PARK RANGERS 1 - 2 NEWCASTLE UNITED.
QPR 1 - 2 Newcastle United
Remy 10' (pen.)
Ben Arfa 18' (pen.)
Gouffran 34'
Yellow cards: Cabaye (dissent), Williamson (bad tackle), Elliot (unsportsmanlike conduct), Elliot (handling the ball outside the box)
Red cards: Elliot (two bookable offences)
Substitutions: Fabio for Bosingwa (45'), Derry for Mbia (45'), Perch for Tiote (52'), Obertan for Gouffran (77'), Harper for Ben Arfa (81'), Taarabt for Hoilett (83').
statistics
Possession: QPR 42%, Newcastle 58%
Shots (on target): QPR 8 (3), Newcastle 10 (7)
Corners: QPR 2, Newcastle 2
Fouls: QPR 8, Newcastle 8.
11 Stoke City 37 41 -11
12 Norwich City 37 41 -18
13 Newcastle 37 41 -21
14 Fulham 37 40 -13
15 Aston Villa 37 40 -22
16 Southampton 37 40 -11
17 mackems 37 39 -12
18 Wigan 36 35 -23
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